Something for everyone

We rented Deck the Halls this week. And by "we" I mean "Alex" of course - not that I wouldn't have rented it myself, but I probably would have waited until at least November.

Now that is a movie that has really got it all.

It's a Christmas movie, and pretty standard in that respect. People losing track of the Christmas spirit, alienating their families, regaining the Spirit and reconciling with their families.

What stood out to me, though, was the fact that the writers of this film chose to insert almost every known stereotype into the movie, without any of them contributing in any material way to the plot.

The movie opens with a woman whose face we can't see, remarking that glasses would make her look old. The optometrist swings his instrument out of the way and OH MY GOODNESS, she is old! How funny is that??? C'mon, let's all laugh at an old lady who cares about how she looks! HA! HA HA!!

Then we have the local chief of police. Matthew Broderick's character, Steve, hears a rumor that the police officer is a cross dresser. Clever foreshadowing, it turns out, for the time when Steve drops by the station to file a complaint and catches a glimpse of some women's underwear under the uniform. Steve runs out the door as soon as the man's back is turned!! Because he is different!! And being scared of people who are different (friendly ones who are trying to help) is just a hoot! HA! HA HA!!

It's not only men in women's underwear that freak Steve out, though. Funny, funny Steve falls through the ice on a pond, and when he regains consciousness, he finds that his neighbor has stripped them both down and zipped them into a sleeping bag together to warm him on the way to the hospital. Does hilarity ensue? Indeed. The old camera-zooming-in-on-screaming-mouth shot is always a crowd pleaser. Because life-and-death situations need not detract from the hilarious homophobia! HA! HA HA!!

Let's see. Then there was the whole "dumb blond" thing. Twin dumb blonds, described on the movie's official website as Buddy's "sexy, dim-bulb twin daughters." Awesome. They are redeemed at the end when the smart and (I think intended to be) less attractive neighbor girl gives them a book of poetry which, one of them said, "doesn't even make my head hurt." HA! HA HA!!

Wow, I'm getting tired here, and we're nowhere near done.

Hey, you know what I found particularly hilarious? The non-Caucasians in the film! Here, I'll introduce you to every single one of them:

• We had a female Asian TV reporter - although she was playing herself, so I'm not sure if she was supposed to be funny or just authentic.



• Then there was the Indian (like from India) computer geek with no social life.



• And my personal favorite, the Latino selling illegal items out of the trunk of his car in a back alley. Now he was a scream.

I'm not sure it's even worth mentioning when Steve's family gets sick of his attitude and moves to a hotel for a few days, and Steve's reaction is, "But. What will I eat?"

There's more, but I'm done.

Anyway. Deck the Halls. A nice little Christmas movie with something for everyone. You know, unless you're one of those humorless types who tries not to be sexist, racist, ageist, homophobic, transphobic, and whatever the word is for judging people based on their intelligence and/or career choices.