If they would just sell a little bag of sugar and electronics, we could skip all kinds of unnecessary steps here
Julia went to the corner store to get herself something with her own money, and wow.
The thing she picked out is A) A toy gun, B) Startlingly phallic within, I suppose, the bounds of plausible deniability, and C) Almost 100% high fructose corn syrup (okay, I didn't read the ingredients, but I'm pretty confident).
And furthermore, the gun part is plastic, with a (let's say unintentionally) phallic nubbin of candy stuck in the barrel, and when you pull the trigger, the edible part lights up. So, you put the gun in your mouth, pull the trigger to illuminate the nubbin...it's just all kinds of win.
Anyway, I reminded her that she's not supposed to play with gun things, and she said she hadn't realized - thought it was an iguana, apparently (?). So she ate the candy and we reverse engineered the thing, and now she has some gun parts to throw away, and two little pellet batteries with a nifty little red LED she can build into something rather less disturbing.