On probation

Just so you know, when your super industrial-sized barrel of garlic powder (from the local super industrial-sized warehouse store) finally succumbs to relative humidity and forms large chunks inside the cannister, there may well be effective counter-measures; said measures, however, most emphatically do not include microwaving the chunks. At least not just a few of them as an experiment, and not for 1.5 minutes, sitting on a paper napkin.

My license to microwave may actually be revoked, despite the fact that the experiment was conducted with full disclosure and in consultation with the other Adult Presence in the household. And despite the fact that he microwaved the whole damn cannister last week and the only adverse result was a greenhouse effect that resulted in one large clump instead of multiple small ones.

In case you were wondering, on-the-verge-of-flaming garlic powder smells emphatically worse than actually-flaming microwave popcorn. And continues smoking for considerably longer. No need to try this at home, kids.