There's a 15-foot booger in my living room

You remember slime, right? It was green and came in a plastic garbage can. Of course anything that much like snot will never go out of style, so there are lots of modern versions of it including a Harry Potter version and, most notably, a slime pit in which to immerse your action figures.

Be that as it may, I can confidently state that there are no photographs of the original version anywhere on the Internet. At all. Trust me on this. I did find some old footage of a television commercial for it (at this site), but it's actually one of the first spinoff products...the one with the eyeballs, remember?

So slime still exists but of course it's been "improved" in the intervening 30 years. Now it can be molded into shapes that still have the exact consistency of a booger, and which are stretchy enough and sticky enough to appease even the most discerning 5-year-old, but--and this is key--which return to their original shapes when released and hold their shapes when at rest. Why is this key? This is key because it means that boogers can now be distributed in bags of potato chips.

And so it came to pass that a seahorse-shaped booger (missing an eye) fell into the hands of a young girl who we shall refer to as "Julia." Miss Julia played with the booger for a span of perhaps five minutes before executing a maneuver that has been described to me (my back was turned) as a vigorous shaking motion, executed with but a single hand.

And yea, my ceiling did become adorned with said seahorse-shaped booger (missing an eye) lo these four days gone.


I've calculated its height at about 15 feet, well beyond the reach of any implement I have handy. And yes, of course it's green.