In which I feel like a foreigner. Or a liberal. Or something.

They had a parents' meeting at school today. Usually I find them A) Boring, because they address all the same stuff every time, and B) Encouraging, because they reinforce that the school has a positive, caring approach to education.

Today was all of that and more, where "more" is comprised largely of pretty basic psychology with which I don't disagree ("It's not your job to make your child happy, it's your job to provide your child with the tools with which to build his/her own happiness!"), but which I don't really need to sit in a very hard, too-small chair to nod along to.

There was also the requisite head-shaking at Society Today (TM) where, it seems, children think they can have it all and parents want to give children everything they, the parents, didn't have as kids. Except, of course, for those of us who had more growing up than they can currently provide to their children. Really I'm okay with it; we do have what we need and some extras, but I don't really need to be preached at about buying kids All The Latest Gadgets and watching them go un-played-with, TYVM. On a tiny, hard chair.

Plus, while I generally consider the school to be fairly progressive, we did hit a couple of snags this evening. It seems Society is in transition from a sexist society to...umm. NOT a feminist one, certainly not! But, well, something else anyway. It's very conFUsing, apparently. Do boys open doors for girls or do they don't? Do they pick up the tab on a date or will they get the evil eye for suggesting it? Apparently these are still Very Difficult Questions.

I had the unanticipated opportunity to make my own small pitch for Feminism and Fairness today, when the ballet class was discussed and I suggested that, next year, the girls be allowed to wear the same "uniform" as the boys. Currently, the girls are required to buy $25 worth of leotards and tights, plus the shoes which I don't even know how much those are because Julia's still fit. Plus a bun. The bun is very important.

Boys wear tank tops & shorts.

I suggested that girls are expected from a young age to invest time and money in their appearance, and that for the purposes of the dance class, what is really required is freedom of movement, which might be afforded by, say, tank tops & shorts.

The response was twofold: But it's ballet. So the ballet clothing Must Be Worn. However, of course we aren't going to be putting leotards on boys. Heavens no. Either the boys (in some cases) or their parents (in others) would never stand for that. The end.

There was also a question from the mother of a boy with shoulder-length hair, who has apparently been spoken to about Personal Presentation. This was answered with appropriate discussion of general personal grooming and such, but there was also a bit of "well, as long as it's not too long. I mean, it's not like we've had a boy who wanted his hair down to his waist."

I rather hope they get one. Or that Phillip becomes one.

Anyway. I still like the school very much and I think it is more progressive than most, (especially around here and within my budget). But jeez. Between the dumbed-down, feet-on-the-ground "it's okay to have your own needs" psychology (Which, again--not disagreeing, just been there and back and had other things to do this evening and softer chairs to do it on) and the not-quite-there-yet with respect to certain elements of feminism (like, for instance, being comfortable with the word "feminism"), I guess even in a parents' meeting at a Montessori school I'm The Liberal One.

Grand Grandparenting

Pursuant to (or in any case relevant to) this post, Mom sent the girls a copy of Life Stories of 100 Famous Women with a personalized contest, with prizes, for each of them to complete.

Dad brought a children's book written by his cousin, about the rescue and rehabilitation of a baby seal. He had me take a picture of him reading it to the kids, to send back to the author.

Like the box says: Real Brothers, Real Music, Not Really Naked.

Okay, so we saw the Naked Brothers Band movie, and I'm of two minds. It's a mockumentary about a kids' rock band. And by "kids" I mean younger than my kids - most of the band members are nine, and one is six.

I was pretty turned off at first by all the cutesy ways the kids, especially the six year old, played out adult stereotypes of rock musicians, especially since it was juxtaposed with stereotypically little kid behaviors like giggling at references to bodily functions and burping the alphabet.

The whole soda addiction/rehab bit aside*, we have a six year old coming on to a leggy, curvy, scantily dressed full-grown woman. She humors him in a little-boy way, but it's just skeevy to see this tiny kid parroting this "she's my girlfriend" stuff because it's his role, when he's clearly way too young to see this woman as anything other than a mother figure.

Toss in a few gratuitously horrid female characters, including an actual catfight, and I was pretty turned off by the first half of the thing.

Then it turned half decent and had an actual nice ending. Go figure.

And the music CD is quite a lot nicer than some of the other music the kids are into these days.

Tonight a friend is over and she brought Spirit (remember Spirit?), but it won't play in my computer. So they're watching the buxom, sex-starved tree instead.

Ah, children's entertainment.


* And by the way, no parent in the history of ever is going to buy a six year old going on a lemon-lime soda bender and sleeping as a result. Seriously, did nobody involved in the production of this movie have kids?

OOOOooooh. Mom jeans. I get it now.

You may recall that my trip to North Carolina included a thrift-store-based initiative to correct my wardrobe which, it turns out, was heavy on the "mom jeans" - I had never heard the phrase before, but if it involves a couple of hours at the thrift store with Lisa and better clothes for work, I'm up for a little intervention. And we did, and I bought new stuff, and that was fun.

So, this morning I discovered something about mom jeans vs not-mom-jeans.

I'm dressed for work in my not-mom-jeans and have my arms raised to brush my hair, and Robin asks, "What happened to you there, Mommy?"

So, I explained to them about stretch marks and how pregnancy makes your body change faster than regular growing, and how the skin can't always keep up. They thought it was cool, and liked seeing which ones were "theirs" (the ones on my hips are from Robin and the ones in the middle from Julia, IIRC).

Raise your hand if you're surprised that one of the things about "mom jeans" is that they hide the fact that you're a mom. I like the low-rise just fine, thanks.

Breakfast Invocation

Dear Robin and Julia,

I imagine that "change" isn't your favorite concept right now, and I get that.

Some kinds of change, though, are well worthwhile. Remember a couple of months ago, Election Day? I hope you do. I tried to show you that it was important in ways that you would understand. Eating pizza and staying up late to watch the early returns. Getting up even later to see the speeches. Ice cream for breakfast the next day - if that doesn't say "this is a big deal" I don't know what does.

Today is just as big a deal.

* * * * *
...So, I wrote that some time last week, and intended to expand it into a whole big Thing for Quaker Dave's Alternative Invocation. But you know how life is. It tends to be like this, a lot of the time, right?

Anyway.

The girls know what today is. Not to put too fine a point on it, I've told them it's "one of the most important things that has happened since either of you was born."

We talked (well, okay. It was 7:00 a.m. I talked and they ate their Cheerios) about Barack Obama and how he is different from the man who is president for a couple more hours.

About how, now...today...in 200NINE for cryin' out loud, there are STILL people who think women and girls are somehow less than men and boys. And how there are people who think men should only be allowed to fall in love with women, and women only with men. ("Why, Mommy?" ... "I have no idea, sweetheart. It makes no sense.")

And also about how I'm not going to like everything Barack Obama does. I already don't like everything he's done, but the man has pledged to listen, even when we don't agree. Especially when we don't agree. I can't conceive of a more important thing.

And, the logical question when I said that: "What has he done that you already don't like?" So we touched on Rick Warren and why that was a bad idea. Showing you're listening to the other side is one thing. Giving someone who stands in opposition to basic rights, acceptance and diversity - who, for crying out loud, thinks his personal brand of religion should, quite literally, take over the world - is really not the person to call on and give an international platform at this particular moment.

* * * * *
So, anyway, girls. All of that.

I'm sure you'll come to understand the importance of today. Hopefully with the help of some creatively deployed pizza, ice cream and after-the-fact YouTube coverage, I can help you remember the day itself as well.

See you after work.

Love,
Mommy

I write letters

Dear Mr. Sanzio, I understand that Campbell's is receiving complaints related to its ad in The Advocate, featuring a lesbian couple. I would like to express my appreciation that you would run such an ad, and my hope that representations of alternative family structures in advertising become more common, entering mainstream publications as well, over time. I am a single, straight woman, mother to two young daughters, and it is my desire that they come of age in a world that recognizes the full range of human diversity, not just traditionally scripted roles. Thank you and thanks to Campbell's for taking this step toward an inclusive world. I live outside the United States, so imported Cambell's products are expensive enough to be considered a luxury item on my budget, but I will be buying some the next time I have the opportunity. Thank you, Jennifer Tucker

Thanks to Liss at Shakesville for the heads-up.

Here's the ad in question. It was run in The Advocate - a gay publication. Nevertheless, the company has been deluged with complaints, largely coordinated by the conservative Christian American Family Association.

If you'd like to take a minute to offer some positive feedback, you can contact Anthony Sanzio, Group Director for Corporate/Brand Communications for Campbell's, by email or call 1-800-257-8443.

Stay classy, Spirit

We get subscriber emails from Spirit Airlines at work. It's one of those ultra low-cost airlines and its shtick is to sell you a membership through which you're eligible for their periodic $9 fares.

It's not particularly useful for the destinations I tend to travel to, but I know people who have gotten good fares on Spirit.

Anyway, I usually file them away as quick as they come in, but it's nice in theory to have access to the members' newsletter.

Today, though, I had a bit of a WTF moment on the way to getting the newsletter filed away. Seems they're rerunning a popular sale/ad campaign:


Charming.

(For anyone unfamiliar with the American Pie mentality, "MILF" is adolescent boy shorthand for attractive mothers of schoolmates. "Mothers I'd Like to F....")