What he's been up to

Things Alex has taken in for repair in the two weeks he's been home:

• Microwave (Squeaky turntable)
• Radio (Only plays CDs when it's in the mood)
• Lawn mower (Starts hard even when restarting after mowing half the yard.) (Don't make me show you the blisters.)
  
• Edge trimmer (I don't know, something's been wrong with that thing ever since they used to try and cut the whole yard with it.)
• Fax machine (Has begun to object to passing paper through any of its various orifices.)
• Computer (Actually, that was me. The new computer is working beautifully but its fan is WAY TOO LOUD.) (The tech basically told me, in a nice way, to get over myself and that today's computers just Are This Loud.) (I'm not really convinced, but I am finally getting used to it.)
  

Things Alex has bought for release into the local ecosystem:

• Flashlight for the car
• Padlock for the front gate (The old one was down to a single key that couldn't be copied.)
• File (To sharpen the machete he uses to cut big honking pieces off of perfectly innocent plants in the yard.)
• Ladder small enough to use indoors (But not tall enough to reach the ceiling booger which, yes, is still with us and showing no signs of coming down, ever.)
  
• Toolbox for the car (Okay, that was me. He was talking about getting one to replace our Milk Crate of Crap and I found a Black & Decker box marked down by nearly half because it had an eensy defect.)
• Big faux terra-cotta flowerpot (And by "faux terra-cotta" I mean "orange plastic.") (No word yet on what it's for.)
• Computer hub and 15 yards of network cable (That was me too, so we can share the wonder that is DSL.) (Found out the next day we overpayed by about 500% for the cable. Serves us right for going to the fancy-dancy Radio Shack in the mall instead of waiting 12 hours and hitting a local computer shop.)
• Blender (Actually, not yet but surely soon. He asked me what was wrong with the old one and I listed its five known defects, although I may possibly have had him at "smoke.")

Some would question the wisdom of having such a plethora of missing/broken crap for him to come home to, but I think it's smart. This way he gets to nest and make the place his own again. And, too, I am just one of those people that will live without something for a really long time before bothering to get it fixed.

Plus, he's only mentioned the light in my office once (I will pick out a fixture when I am Good And Ready. And don't you dare "surprise" me by installing one for me. And if you ask again tomorrow I will repeat that answer, maybepossibly at a slightly higher volume.)