A Few Choice Words

Oh lordy, what have we wrought?

2009-07-13T20:28:00.003-06:00

She Who Has, In Fact, Been Named (I'm Pretty Sure) is...mischievous. I gather that's not unusual in Felines of the Smaller Persuasion.

For instance? I'm pretty sure none of us will ever take eating or sleeping for granted again.

Also? You have Not. Lived. till you've seen eight inches of kitten run up Bob's chest and lick his mustache because she's tried everything else she can think of to get a bite of pizza.

Our new denizen

2009-07-12T19:55:00.003-06:00

So, as you'll have seen over at his place, my idea of a kitten for Bob's birthday was extremely well received.

She and Bob are still working out the name issue, but I don't think it'll be long now. I've offered my share of suggestions, of course (my official nomination goes to Moxy Mocha Calliope Sockfoot) but, named or not, she's made herself completely at home.

When I went downstairs to return the cake just now, Bob was dozing on the couch. Kitty was sitting proprietarily on his hip; she watched me come and go with utter confidence in her own authority - not bad for someone who's barely lived here for 24 hours.

Happy birthday, Bob

2009-07-11T07:07:00.002-06:00

I'm glad we're together for this one.

Another July birthday

2009-07-10T06:58:00.004-06:00

This month is just full of 'em, isn't it?

Seems today is Béla Fleck's birthday. I was introduced to Béla's music by another July baby, but it won't be his birthday for several more hours yet.

I have this song at the top of my playlist, so even though I keep the player on shuffle, it always starts with this one:

Also, check out Béla's latest project - a very cool documentary (with, I might add, a equally cool website).

If they would just sell a little bag of sugar and electronics, we could skip all kinds of unnecessary steps here

2009-07-09T18:12:00.003-06:00

Julia went to the corner store to get herself something with her own money, and wow.

The thing she picked out is A) A toy gun, B) Startlingly phallic within, I suppose, the bounds of plausible deniability, and C) Almost 100% high fructose corn syrup (okay, I didn't read the ingredients, but I'm pretty confident).

And furthermore, the gun part is plastic, with a (let's say unintentionally) phallic nubbin of candy stuck in the barrel, and when you pull the trigger, the edible part lights up. So, you put the gun in your mouth, pull the trigger to illuminate the nubbin...it's just all kinds of win.

Anyway, I reminded her that she's not supposed to play with gun things, and she said she hadn't realized - thought it was an iguana, apparently (?). So she ate the candy and we reverse engineered the thing, and now she has some gun parts to throw away, and two little pellet batteries with a nifty little red LED she can build into something rather less disturbing.

In which I save the day. Well, really the night.

2009-07-08T20:48:00.002-06:00

Robin thought she had a bat in her room last night.

I assured her that, A) She really probably didn't, because if she had where did it go? and B) If she ever does, she must call me and let me evacuate it, no matter what time it is.

And five minutes later we discovered the dastardly (and Very Scary) bat impersonator, who I proceeded to evacuate even though it wasn't, in fact, a bat.

Okay, I'll admit it's more the concept than the execution...

2009-07-07T20:55:00.003-06:00

...But if Mickey Dolenz is going to give a concert on my birthday, and I'm going to find out about it four days later (on my sister's birthday), and he actually sings Happy Birthday (to his drummer) right there on stage, well then it's going to have to go on the blog.

Happy birthday, Lisa :)

Reasonable expectations

2009-07-06T18:20:00.003-06:00

It was the kind of day where I decided if I didn't find a dead fly when I went to reheat the leftover coffee*, that'd be good enough.

And I didn't, so that's cool.

And in fact, other things have worked out such that the fly thing is now but a vaguely pleasant memory, which is even better.

* That actually happens considerably more often than I feel it should, given that we rarely have flies anywhere but in the leftover coffee.

Photo album

2009-07-05T18:49:00.003-06:00

I have reason to compile a bit of a portfolio of my quilting work, which I have done here. Have a look and feel free to make with any sort of comments or suggestions.

Yes, Julie, this means you might one day get your quilt ;)

Got my wish

2009-07-04T19:43:00.003-06:00

We all went out to dinner, courtesy of Mom & Dad, and then home for cake and presents and a movie. I wanted The Gods Must Be Crazy but Shirley at the local video store says they don't have it because whenever people rent that one, they don't bring it back. So we settled for Groundhog Day instead.

The restaurant is a fun family place with playgrounds and oldey-timey newspapers shellacked to the tables and a couple rooms full of antique stuff all lined up on shelves.

Oh, and the big (and in fact New and Improved and very big) beefcake poster in the ladies' room, with a little trapdoor in a strategic spot, with a "go ahead and open it" message on the little trapdoor, and which, upon opening, sounds a Very Loud Alarm so everyone else in the restaurant can look over to see who's coming out of the ladies room.

We decided to resist temptation this time.

ANYway. Here's the view before and after sunset. You can see the airport just to the left of the orange chimney in the daytime photo, and a jet getting ready to land there in the lower one. Well, you might not be able to see it at this size. But it's there in the larger version.

And my Hershey's Kisses and "Leave Julia Alone" coupons from the girls (that's where I give Robin a coupon and she moves 30 steps away from Julia and leaves her alone for three hours - looking forward to redeeming those), and a colorful new keychain from a friend, and the blanket, which is from Mom - she made it herself! ...I'm told there's a story there?

There. I'm 40 now.

2009-07-03T07:45:00.002-06:00

Or will be at...whatever time. It's off to a nice start; flowers from Dad (with help from Bob and the neighbor), and good wishes via Facebook about every 10 minutes, at least now while people are still logging in for the day.

We'll have dinner and a video with the kids later, because what I really want is for all four of us to be able to spend time together - we do, a little, but we're still taking it pretty gradually, so dinner and a movie, all sitting together on the couch; that's what I want.

We'll figure it out

2009-07-02T19:45:00.002-06:00

Mom had the good idea of having dinner with the girls tomorrow (even though it's not my usual weekend) - Julia had been making noises about having some extra time with me anyway, so the timing was good. They'll stay the night thenI'll take them back for the usual weekend up the hill.

We've got plans with adult friends on Saturday, which will be fun. Iit looks like the family picnic thing we'd originally planned may or may not work out for next weekend, but we'll figure out something nice to do - maybe we can have our own picnic even if the other family isn't available.

Hopefully having dinner together on the day will buy us some time and flexibility as far as the rest of the celebrations go.

Not corrupted

2009-07-01T18:18:00.001-06:00

Enjoying a few quality television programs is perfectly acceptable. I am subject to no advertising, nor enslaved to schedules.

As long as I don't get hooked on Lost, all is...you know. Not Lost.

Square one, or thereabouts

2009-06-30T19:46:00.003-06:00

Last year I made my children cry by telling them I didn't want a birthday party. Apparently that's not allowed.

So this year I knew I'd have to do something. I'll be 40 on Friday and Bob'll be way older than that a week later, and we had a plan; a picnic with the neighbors. Sadly, we have no grill or yard in which to implement such a plan, but Bob solved that one by reminding me about the park up the mountain, which would do nicely.

So that was all set and I invited my favorite neighbors, who have kids and everything, and there was going to be a party.

Only now it turns out they can't make it, so I ask of you:

How far away from the actual birthdays can we have the event and/or what other sort of celebration can we hold that will satisfy my children and not be too much work for us?

In which Queen and the Village People assist me in exploring the generation gap with my children

2009-06-29T17:21:00.003-06:00

So, it was a standard Monday morning. Julia was up and eating and chattering away, and Robin was sleeping. Aggressively.

Julia often asks me to look things up on YouTube so she can see the videos for songs she's heard from friends or learned at school. (One advantage of sending them to a semi-Montessori, kid-positive, friendly sort of school: When the English or music teachers need to teach the kids a song, they tend to pick things like the Beatles and Bob Marley.)

This morning, she asked me to look up two songs:

Running commentary as she watched:

It's a funny video. Look, there's an indio, a vaquero, a constructor, and that one...he looks like...I guess he's a rebelde. And that one is like...what's it called? A guy from la guerra. And that one, I don't know what he is. Oh! He's like a policía, because look [at the handcuffs], only he doesn't look like one.

Then she wanted to see this:

Robin was up by this time, and decided she didn't like the black and white leotard. I told her some rock stars like to dress in unusual ways, and naturally had to provide her with a handy example.

"Oh." she said. "My."

Sunday joke, courtesy of Robin

2009-06-28T14:54:00.003-06:00

A guy gets out of work and heads for home. He thinks to himself:

I could take a bus or a cab.
If I take a cab, there's no problem.
If I take a bus, one of two things could happen.

I could get a seat, or have to stand.
If I have to stand, there's no problem.
If I get a seat, one of two things could happen.

I could sit by myself or next to someone else.
If I sit by myself, there's no problem.
If I sit next to someone else, one of two things could happen.

I could sit next to a man or a woman.
If I sit next to a man, there's no problem.
If I sit next to a woman, one of two things could happen.

We could keep to ourselves or talk to each other.
If we keep to ourselves, there's no problem.
If we talk to each other, one of two things could happen.

We could either fall in love or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If we fall in love, one of two things could happen.

We could get married or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If we get married, one of two things could happen.

We could have children or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If we have children, one of two things could happen.

One of our children could grow up to be an architect or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If one of our children grows up to be an architect, one of two things could happen.

Our child could build us a house, or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If our child builds us a house, one of two things could happen.

The house could fall down, or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If the house falls down, one of two things could happen.

I could be inside and get killed, or not.
If not, there's no problem.
If I'm inside and get killed, one of two things could happen.

I could go to heaven or...
I'd better just get a cab.

Just desserts

2009-06-27T17:26:00.003-06:00

So, I've cleaned the kitchen, including some spots I don't even usually get to see, done laundry, read 25% of a new book, made cake (and took some to a neighbor), ordered pizza, arranged for videos, and invited a friend over for each of the girls.

I don't know which part of that earned me the reward, but the game of the hour is "who can be the quietest for the longest."

Fourth grade science homework: Invent a new form of energy

2009-06-26T17:11:00.002-06:00

Robin's is hamster powered, but she insists that they are either to invent something completely new, or combine two existing forms of energy in a new way. Therefore, the kinetic energy of thousands of hamsters running on wheels is, on its own, inadmissible. She wants to use the movement of the wheels to generate friction and thereby heat, and use the heat as her energy source.

I simply can't endorse it. So inefficient.

Dear Alan Alda, You're still in good health, right?

2009-06-25T20:32:00.003-06:00

Back when I was aware of Ed McMahon (86), Farrah Fawcett (62) and Michael Jackson (50) on a day-to-day basis, the news that each of them would pass away shortly before I turned 40 would have sounded reasonable to me; being young and immortal at the time, the prospect of entering my own 40s would have to mean that everyone, particularly people who were already grown and famous, would be impossibly old by then as well.

Turns out that's not the case at all.

Forty--as anyone who has attained the age can attest--is in fact surprisingly young, once you actually get there (week from tomorrow, thank you very much), and the adult stars of my youth are likewise, many of them, still entirely "too young to die" - except insofar as some of them still do.

Rest in peace, y'all.

He's a well respected man about town, doing the best things so conservatively

2009-06-25T15:27:00.002-06:00

Margie the morning show DJ just happened to play The Kinks' A Well Respected Man right before reading off the headline news today.

Sometimes change is good. Or would be, if there were any.

2009-06-24T20:46:00.003-06:00

If you were charged with making a computer version of the game Operation, would you find it necessary to replicate the sound of the original game's buzzer when a player touches an edge?

I didn't think so.

I've always liked you.

Today in things you don't see every day

2009-06-23T20:13:00.003-06:00

Natural-health folks visiting the shop to discuss solar power for the oh-so-environmentally-friendly retreat they're building ... and arriving in a Hummer.

In their defense, the vehicle belonged to their companion, not them. But I still get to tell the anecdote.

Wow, that's one potent tummy virus

2009-06-22T18:55:00.003-06:00

So, I haven't seen the girls for a week. I'm sitting there at work, an hour before quitting time, and I get a call from Julia, who says she's been kept home from school because of vomiting last night. And right then and there, over an hour before I even see her, I start feeling it myself. How suggestible am I?

Fortunately, I'm pretty sure mine is entirely sympathetic, and hers seems to have been of the 24-hour variety because the child has not stopped eating since she got home. She also jumped up every single step when we returned from borrowing something downstairs earlier, and she's currently blazing her Future Overlrod way through Green Eggs and Ham.

I did some preventative laundry this afternoon so if sheets are soiled tonight I'll have clean ones to put on the bed in the morning, but I purely hope they don't because the sheets currently on the bed haven't even been slept on yet.

Oh, and because I hope my child doesn't vomit. In my bed. That too.

Things that make me think of Dad

2009-06-21T12:05:00.003-06:00

Happy father's day

So, apropos of nothing or anything, but I just thought I'd point out

2009-06-20T20:06:00.002-06:00

Most Costa Ricans:

A) Don't have lawns

B) Don't have lawn sprinklers

C) Were they in possession of A) A lawn and B) A lawn sprinkler, still wouldn't water said lawn two hours before it's due to pour buckets, as it does every day. And frequently floods, at that particular spot.

Carry on.